A Brief Explanation of the Six Rites in Ancient Times
The Six Rites refer to the procedures of asking for names, making a pact, presenting gifts, delivering a bride price, setting a date, and personally welcoming the bride. These are the steps involved in the ancient marriage process and also items that a date selection master needs to consider. However, due to changes over time, many items have been combined or even eliminated, so it is sufficient for everyone to have a general understanding of their meanings.
Asking for Names: This involves the matchmaker sending each party’s names and birth dates to one another. After lighting incense and reporting to their ancestors, they will place these offerings on their family altar for three days. If both parties remain safe and sound during this period, it is considered passing the first hurdle, allowing further discussions about marriage matters.
Making a Pact: This means engagement and involves a ceremony where rings are exchanged. Typically, on this day before leaving home, the groom will light incense to report to his ancestors in hopes of smooth proceedings. The items prepared include a pair of rings and a small amount of bride price; hence it is also referred to as “small engagement” or “minor betrothal.”
Presenting Gifts: This is the day when the groom sends fabric to the bride’s family for making her wedding dress. In modern terms, this can be likened to the groom buying new clothes and shoes for the bride while she buys a suit for him.
Delivering Bride Price: This refers to the day when the groom presents a substantial amount of money as bride price to the bride’s family. Due to its large sum, it is also known as “major engagement” or “big betrothal,” marking the beginning of preparations on the eve of marriage.
Setting a Date: This is when the groom sends details regarding their wedding date to the bride’s family. Typically, the bride’s family will consult other date selection masters for confirmation that this date poses no issues for them before having the matchmaker return with this information to the groom’s side. This process is known as reviewing dates
and serves as an overture leading up to finalizing wedding arrangements.
Personally Welcoming: This refers to the day when the groom formally welcomes his new bride into his home; it is essentially wedding day.
Excerpted from Date Selection Arena